Short Stories
Entry No. 51 April 13, 2005

"Let's Buy Some Beano"

Now I hope you will think this story is as amusing as I do. It takes place late in the day just before getting ready to settle in for the night. Susie, Sheldon, and I had to make a stop for a bit of nutritional diversity in order to make a tasty dinner for the night. We made the effort to bike down a steep hill to a small town on the coast to look for a little store only to bike back up and look for a camping spot further along route 5.

Sheldon has now been with us for 7 days and things are great. Susie is loving translating conversations for Sheldon and she teaches him some words and answers any of his questions. She is pretty psyched to be the teacher for once. She is also constantly trying to eat for her blood type so as to avoid indigestion and/or bodily sounds that may not be pleasant to the senses. Lately, for some reason, whether it's the peanuts, olive oil, bananas, or something, she has not been having success. These 2 facts contributed to a fascinating miscommunication in this small store just near Pichicuy, Chile in the 5th Region of Valparaiso.

I was outside talking with some kids when Susie went in to see what they had. Sheldon and I noticed a man walking out with a box of wine. We looked at each other and I said, "Why don't we get some wine?" "Great idea." said Sheldon. "I'll go tell Susie."

I noticed things were taking a long time and a lot of hushed-but-not-so-hushed-because-no one-understood-English talking was going on.

Susie finally came out flustered and going for something on her bike. I said "What's up?" She said, "That was crazy. Sheldon was telling me to buy vino and I thought he was telling me
to buy Beano!"

Apparently he told Susie to order some vino but he had learned that the "v" sounds like a "b" so he wanted to pronounce it correctly. So Susie is thinking he wants her to buy Beano to get rid of her gas and she is really embarrassed.

Sheldon: Just order some vino
Susie: They probably only sell Beano in pharmacies if at all. I promise I will stop farting.
Sheldon: What? Just ask if they have it.
Susie: No.That is embarrassing.
Sheldon, wondering if she thinks wine is the tool of the devil: What?? Just order some vino
Susie: No. You do it.
Sheldon: How do you say 'Is there'?
Susie: Hay
Sheldon, to the teller that is looking at them in disbelief: ¿Hay vino?
The teller nods his head, still in disbelief, and goes into the back.

Susie, now with her own look of disbelief, can not imagine how this man in this small town would have Beano here and why he even knows what it is. She is yelling to him as he is in the back getting the wine asking in Spanish "The Beano that helps with gas, like farting? You have that?"
The teller comes back with a box of wine and Susie's light bulb clicks. We finally head back up the hill and I can barely make it as Susie is relaying this story to me I am laughing so hard.

My dry spell of writing is over. Man do I ever have a story for my audience.

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